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Friday, November 2, 2007

Tongue Twisters...






2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish. **********


3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds. **********


4 .A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea. **********


5 . Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People **********


6 .If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch? **********


7 .I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much. **********


8 .Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?" **********


9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside. **********


10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES **********


11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn. **********


12.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way" **********


13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not. **********


14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely . **********


15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue **********


16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues. **********


17.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw .....

Bang ur head on the wall if u don't know the answer...




Bang ur head on the wall if u don't know the answer.


Recently a company had participated in IIM's Placement Sessions.

They asked some interesting questions to students during recruitment.


Here are some of them:-


************ ********* **

1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?


********


2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?


********

3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water.


The tide rises at 12 inches every 15minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?


********

4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?


********

5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?


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6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?


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7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?


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8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?

Same question, but the location is in Canada ?


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9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.


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10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?


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11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?


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1. The word "incorrectly. "


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2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.


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3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)


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4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.


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5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition.

So... Half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.


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6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.


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7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt.


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8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again.


The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...


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9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.


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10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.


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11. The temperature.


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beautiful in my eyes....


Saturday, October 20, 2007

banana wonders...

Banana wonders:-



Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose - combined with fiber.A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proved that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.A banana can help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must for our daily diet.Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND among people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and rehydrates your system.Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.Overweight and at work: Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5 000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronic ulcer cases. It also neutralises over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, tryptophan.Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal. Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalise the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be re-balanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine", eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%"Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!A banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Check out these nutty laws from across the U.S.A. and around the globe!





Check out these nutty laws from across the U.S.A. and around the globe! * In Alabama, prison guards are forbidden from referring to their spouses as "the old ball 'n' chain." * In Los Angeles, it's illegal for a waiter to tell a customer "I'm really an actor." * In Indiana, it's against the law to dress "Barbie" in "Ken's" clothes. * In Sedona, Ariz., it's illegal to lie about your astrological sign. * In Texas, it's illegal to threaten somebody with an UNLOADED gun. * In Samoa, it's a crime to forget your wife's birthday. * In Australia, it's illegal to name any animal you plan to eat. * In Cannes, France, it's illegal to wear a Jerry Lewis mask. * In New Jersey, answering a traffic cop who asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" by saying, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" is an automatic $300 fine. * In Kentucky, it's illegal to paint your lawn red. * In Portugal, it's against the law to pee in the ocean. * In Connecticut, night watchmen are forbidden from drinking decaf coffee while working. * In Vermont, it's illegal to pick your nose and stick the pickings under a table. * In Tennessee, it's illegal to tell someone to quit smoking. * In Oregon, donut holes must be at least an 1/8th inch in diameter. * In Georgia, it's illegal to teach a child under 5 the words "penis" and "vagina." * Unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties in South Carolina. * In Italy, anyone considered "obese" is forbidden from wearing polyester. * It's illegal to tear a phone book in half in Montana. * Anyone caught selling a "smoothie" that has lumps is breaking the law in California. * In Arkansas, it's illegal for a woman getting married for the second time to wear a white wedding gown. * In Pennsylvania, it's against the law to put a dollar on a string on the ground and yank it when someone tries to pick it up. * In New York City, it's illegal for a restaurant to call it a "corned beef sandwich" if it's made with white bread and mayonnaise.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Lessons in Logic...







Lessons in Logic:-




If your father is a poor man,it is your fate but,if your father-in-law is a poor man,it's your stupidity........................................................................ I was born intelligent -education ruined me.........................................................................Practice makes perfect.....But nobody's perfect......so why practice? ........................................................................If it's true that we are here to help others,then what exactly are the others here for?........................................................................ Since light travels faster than sound,people appear bright until you hear them speak.........................................................................How come "abbreviated" is such a long word? ........................................................................Money is not everything.There's Mastercard & Visa......................................................................... One should love animals.They are so tasty.........................................................................Behind every successful man, there is a womanAnd behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. ........................................................................Every man should marry.After all, happiness is not the only thing inlife......................................................................... The wise never marry.and when they marry they become otherwise.........................................................................Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives. ........................................................................Never put off the work till tomorrowwhat you can put off today......................................................................... "Your future depends on your dreams"So go to sleep........................................................................There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning........................................................................"Hard work never killed anybody"But why take the risk ........................................................................"Work fascinates me"I can look at it for hours........................................................................ God made relatives;Thank God we can choose our friends.........................................................................The more you learn, the more you know,The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you knowSo.. why learn.........................................................................A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station....what more can I say........

Tech Support_Wife 1.0......this is cool...... jus read it......


Dear Tech Support:-


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began with unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities such as: Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 and Golf 7.5
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please HELP!!
Thanks,



Dear Troubled User:-



This is a very, very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings - Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I also suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! It comes with several support programs, such as: Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs; improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend: Flowers 2.1, Hugs 4.3 and especially Diamonds 5.0
WARNING!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,

6th Sense......beat the stress out....just a quick joke....




A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love andthat he is going to get married.He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you tryand guess which one I'm going to marry."The mother agrees.The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sitsthem down on the couch and they chat for a while.He then says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."She immediately replies, "The one on the right.""That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"The mother replies, "I don't like her."

Saturday, September 29, 2007

could this be our future???????customer care in 2020


CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020:-


Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."
Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........
on......889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan
Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your
mobile
is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from
the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
much
will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total
is $49.9! 9"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card
is
over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,
Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw
some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always
come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Customer: " What!"
Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a
Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing.! .. by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're
also
diabetic....... "
Customer: "***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))"
Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987
you
were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"
Customer: Faints...

Indian Hell:-

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there
is different hell for each country and decides he'll
pick the least painful to spend his eternity.
He goes to American hell and asks, "What do they do
here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair
for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for
another hour. Then the American devil comes in and
whips you for the rest of the day".
The man does not like the sound of that at all so he
moves on. He checks out the Australian hell as well as
the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they
are all similar to the American hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there
is a long line of people waiting to get in.
Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair
for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for
another hour. The Indian devil comes in and whips you
for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells
why are there so many people waiting to get in?" asked
the man.
"Because there is never any electricity so the
electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for
but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep
on. And the Indian devil used to be a civil servant,
so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back
home for private business."

Friday, September 21, 2007

Strange Human Facts...

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body.The average human will eat an average of 8 spiders while sleeping.The average women consumes 6lbs of lipstick in her lifetime.On average, a 4-year-old child asks 437 questions a day.Only 7% of the population are lefties. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.A human brain weighs about 3lbs.1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.You blink over 10,000,000 times a year.When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop ... even your heart.If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day.If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.Koala and humans are the only animals with unique fingerprints.The scent of apples and/or bananas can help you lose weight.The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.Children grow faster in the spring.On average a human will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his or her lifetime A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories.

T h e B es t M o me nt s I n L if e.....

T h e B es t M o me nt s I n L if e......


1. Falling in love. 2. Laughing till your stomach hurts. 3. Enjoying a ride down the ocuntry side. 4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio. 5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside. 6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel. 7. Passing your final exams with good grades. 8. Being part of an interesting conversation. 9. Finding some money in some old pants. 10. Laughing at yourself. 11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends. 12. Laughing without a reason. 13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say somthing good about you. 14. Watching the sunset. 15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life. 16. Receiving or giving your first kiss. 17. Feeling this movement in your body when seeing this "special" someone. 18. Having a great time with your friends. 19. Seeing the one you love happy. 20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume. 21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories. 22. Hearing some telling you "I LOVE YOU" "True friends come in the good times when we tell them to, and come in the bad times.....without calling."

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! IT'S BREATH TAKING!








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